
I don’t usually play video games, but my partner does from time to time. His games of choice are either Fifa, or some kind of mission based game where he has to trawl through an imaginary world, completing tasks and retrieving objects.
Every so often I decide that I want to play too. And that’s his cue to turn the difficulty down to the lowest level as I shriek and laugh, realising that I have no clue how to run, jump, crouch, kick or grab.
While this amuses him, neither of us see it as a problem, or a sign that I’m not supposed to play the game. I’m just a beginner! And I know that the game will get more and more fun as I get better at playing it.
When it comes to the more complicated games, the designers have usually taken this into account. Level one involves lots of prompts, teaching me how to control my character, and what basic skills and knowledge I’ll need as I play the game. The tasks I meet on each level are there to gradually expand this skill set so that I can meet harder challenges further down the line.
And the best thing is that this process of learning, improving, growing and evolving is really fun! It’s deeply satisfying to see myself getting better and better over time - and it would be boring if there was no challenge involved.
What game did you choose?
When we choose something we want to do in life, it’s kind of like opening up a brand new video game.
Some games are relatively simple and won’t take long, like
Make the bed
RIng the bank
Do the dishes
While others are more challenging, involve many different levels and take a lot longer to complete, like
Turn ‘making the bed’ into a daily habit
Write a book
Grow your business
Start a new relationship
No matter what game we’re choosing to play, it requires a set of skills, knowledge, and characteristics.
Let’s say we decide that we want to make a habit out of making our bed in the morning, so we set ourselves the challenge of making the bed everyday for one month.
We may think of this as something that “should” be easy, but really it requires a mix of skills and attributes, just like anything else.
We need to:
Know how to make a bed.
Understand and feel connected to our motivation for making the bed everyday, so that it feels like a good use of time.
Rewire any beliefs we may have about being a “messy” person, so that making the bed everyday feels normal and natural to us.
Have an appreciation for how much time it takes to make the bed, until allowing time for this becomes second nature.
Be able to feel that “urgh I just can’t be bothered” feeling, and choose to make the bed anyway i.e. stop allowing that fleeting feeling to control our actions
See, there’s more involved than you might imagine!
Often, when someone decides what life “game” they want to play next, motivation is fairly high, and they’ll dive right into the first few rounds. That might look like:
Downloading a dating app and setting up your profile
Sketching out a business plan
Brainstorming the main character of your novel
But then, a few days later, the initial motivation wanes, and this is when procrastination begins to creep in.
Suddenly the dating app chit chat feels dull, bringing the business plan to life feels overwhelming and putting pen to paper just feels impossible.
And if you think that procrastination is a sign of failure, or a personal flaw, this may be when you decide that you’re just not cut out for this game after all.
But what if procrastination is just the video game designer keeping you on the same level until you’ve mastered the skill you’re supposed to learn here?
Becoming the person who does the thing
I was discussing this idea with a friend this morning. She and I are both small business owners, at an early stage in running our businesses.
Just like me she’s still figuring out how to manage her time, work with feelings of overwhelm, put herself out there and trust in the process.
We talked about how she’s fully aware that she’s been procrastinating on taking some of the actions that would really take her business forward, by filling her time with busy-work.
As I talked about my theory that procrastination is just “level one” where we develop the capabilities that we’ll need as we get to higher stages of the game, it became really clear to her what procrastination was developing within her:
It was making her confront a lot of the beliefs she has carried from her corporate career around how much time she “should” spend working everyday, and how these were standing in the way of her needs for rest and creative thinking.
It was forcing her to get really clear on what activities actually matter in her business, and what isn’t all that important.
It was showing her just how important a clear vision for her business is as a source of motivation
It was bringing her into contact with feelings which have been subconsciously controlling her behaviour up until now - like making herself work far too hard in an attempt to avoid feeling disappointment. And it’s allowing her to redefine her relationship with these feelings, so that they no longer hold so much power over her.
Look at how powerful this process is. Procrastination isn’t stopping her from building the business she dreams of. It’s bringing her face-to-face with everything that needs an ‘upgrade’ before she can operate at a higher level - all the skills, beliefs, attitudes and resources that she needs to hone in order to play the game.
And it’s very clear that if she were to simply “push through” and ignore the teachings procrastination is offering, she may be setting herself up for a much harder time down the line. For instance, if she found herself in the middle of a busy, thriving business, but was still carrying beliefs about needing to be productive all day long, that could be a recipe for burnout.
How is procrastination molding you?
What if your procrastination isn’t stopping you from getting where you want to go, but rather it’s giving you a chance to practice, upgrade, improve and evolve so that you can become the person who achieves the goal?
Maybe it’s forcing you to realise that you’ll never write the book if you insist on clinging to your need for perfection.
Maybe it’s revealing that your belief that there’s a great partner out there for you is a bit flimsy - which is why dating apps feel like such an emotional rollercoaster - and it’s inviting you to anchor into something stronger.
Maybe it’s showing you that if you need to feel “ready” before you do the thing, you’ll never put your business offers out in the world, so it’s giving you a chance to reconsider how important that feeling really is to you.
Consider these questions to explore what ‘Level One: Procrastination’ might be molding in you:
What feeling does procrastination help me to avoid, and what does this tell me about my current relationship with this feeling?
What would happen if I was no longer afraid of this feeling?
When I put off taking action, what am I believing? When did I develop this belief, and what will happen if I hold on to it while I pursue my goal?
What might procrastination be protecting me from? Do I need protection from this?
How can I take of myself so that procrastination doesn’t have to?
Sometimes the first level of the video game is the hardest.
There’s so much to learn, and you’re not really getting to play the game yet, because you’re still grasping the basics. I didn’t score a goal until the 85th minute in Fifa, because I just couldn’t figure out which button would shoot the damn ball!
But the good news is that once the basics are in place, the game gets more and more fun. And you’ll even start to enjoy the bigger challenges.
So give yourself some grace, and remember that you can play whatever game you want to play.
Procrastination showing up isn’t a sign that you’re bound to fail - it’s here to help you to grow.
All you need to do is stop fighting against it, and let it be your teacher.
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