Winter Left You Drained? Let’s Talk About Emotional Survival and Self-Compassion

Belfast Lough in late January

It’s been a tough winter. I’ve had this conversation over and over in the last week and I’ve noticed a collective agreement that February has been hard.

I can’t speak for climates outside of Ireland, but this year Winter has been clinging on for dear life.

January brought the infamous Storm Éowyn, which tore through the country leaving thousands without power and bringing down countless trees, telegraph poles and trampolines. And then February seemed to be out to prove that it was just as big and bad as its brother January, as temperatures dipped and we went for days and days of no sunlight and dreary rain.

We’re used to it all in this part of the world, but that doesn’t mean our bodies don’t respond to it.

However much our society tries to pretend that nature is something happening “out there” beyond the window, totally separate to everything we’re doing “in here”, in the office or the classroom, the truth is this divide is nothing more than an illusion.

We are organic beings.

Our laptops and smartphones are machines - they have predictable charging patterns, and usually take the same length of time to do a task every time because they are artificial and we created them for specific tasks.

But we are not artificial. We are flesh and blood, fully alive for reasons beyond our comprehension and part of this breathing Earth. We are nature. And therefore we are part of the cycles of nature.

You’re Not Lazy – You’re in a State of Protection

Many people I’ve spoken to over the last week have talked about feeling more tired, weary, unmotivated, down and frequently sick over the last month in particular.

This array of messages from our bodies is often a natural cue to respond to the Winter around us. To slow down, conserve energy, dream, connect to one another, tend to ourselves and connect to our inner worlds.

But most of us have grown up with the cultural conditioning which teaches us to reject these natural impulses. As soon as we feel the inclination to sleep longer, take naps, enjoy slow baths and retreat to the comforts of our homes, our automatic reaction is to resist, and take whatever measures are necessary to continue our usual levels of productivity.

For some people this means increasing their caffeine intake or relying on sugar to get through the afternoons. For others it means rigidly sticking to a “wellness” routine which includes a 5am wake up call, cold shower and HIIT workout all before breakfast.

Guess which category I am not….

The thing is, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with making adjustments which allow us to use our energy most effectively, especially when we have less of it.

The problem lies in believing that we can or should keep up with “usual levels of productivity.”

When we accept that we are nature, it’s clear that so much of how our society operates is mad. I’m using that word intentionally. It is a form of madness - it’s the work of a mind disconnected from the body, and the soul.

• It’s madness that we try to work the same number of hours all year long.

• It’s madness that students are often working harder at this time of year, doing mid-year exams.

• It’s madness so few work cultures truly support people to take paid time off when sick, which leaves them pushing themselves to work through illness or rushing to get back.

• It’s madness that we go to work in the dark and come home in the dark.

I don’t have all the answers for how we change this.

But I am sure of the first step: Reconnecting to the body.

So let’s take a moment right now, after this cold winter, to come home to the body together.

Assessing your Inner Winter

Physical body

• How does your physical body feel right now?

• Are there any aches or pains?

• Can you notice a yearning for anything, like heat or soft touch or nourishment?

• Where feels strong and where feels soft?

• Is there any past sickness still lingering, unsure if you’ll heed its call to take care of yourself?

Mental body

• How does it feel to live in your mind right now?

• Are things clear and focused, or foggy and cloudy?

• Does it feel rushed in there, urgent, worried about getting to the next step?

• Pay less attention to the content of the thinking mind and more to the quality of it - how are thoughts moving through you?

Emotional body

• What emotions can you feel in your body right now?

• Where do they live?

• What size and shape are they?

• What colour are they and how are they moving?

• If you were to take your emotional temperature, where would you land? Hot and stormy or cool and icy?

• Are you feeling lots of emotion or hardly any at all?

Energy body

• Closely linked to the emotional body, but with subtle differences, how is your energy right now?

• Are you feeling high energy or low energy?

• Are things feeling light and positive, or dark and heavier?

• What’s the energy of the house you’re in, the street you’re on, the town or city around you?

Spiritual body

• How aware are you of your spiritual body right now?

• Is that something that feels odd and strange to even consider, or natural and welcome

• Is there lots of room in your life for spirit or not much at all?

There are no right or wrong answers.

There is nothing to achieve and nowhere to get to.

Sitting with these questions is enough.

Allow any guidance about where you want to make some shifts to come through.

Imagine a world where your natural, organic body really, deeply matters.

Let the realisation land in your belly that you’ve created a small pocket of that world today.

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